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Lumb boosted

nothing but love for my alma mater!! 🤗 🎓

we got any other alumni out there in Masto??🤗 🎓

gooooo fightin' 😐 ❓'s!

CW mental health humour, so to speak.

Okay yes, true, I did say I was going to bed, but it’s like every time I put my phone down I think of a toot and every time I’m rooting I’m just thinking about how tired I am, so it’s impossible to say what I’ll do next.

*nervously to a cutie*
So hey uh- ur rly cute n I was just wondering if maybe I could kiss you? It’s for a bit.

Arby’s cashier: I don’t know what a bit is but yes let’s fuckin make out under the heat lamps.

Good night, sleep tight, if bed bugs bite, punch them in the fucking face, you don’t gotta take that shit from ANYBODY, I love you.

Lumb boosted

step 2: get collared by a nice upper class family
step 3: move in with a nice upper class family
step 4: eat their children

Lumb boosted

@Lumb The two hardest things are yourself and your children, and a Mastodon instance is both.

Protip: G’night everybody I’m going to sleep.

:promoted: Promoted

Lumb boosted

Sorry to everyone I said good night to eight hours ago, I’ve been here the whole time.

Lumb boosted
Lumb boosted

cats purring in your ear is the original asmr

You know what they say, a lumb in the hand is worth two.

Sometimes, I like to imagine what it would be like to be a flock of ducks, getting free bread from humans even though they would never give free bread to one another. If I were a duck I would spend a lot of time laughing at humans I think.

My fursona is a golden retriever who lives with a nice upper middle class family with no children.

Lumb boosted

@Lumb "So that's how I saved a bunch of money on a new domain name by changing my name to lamp!"

Still can’t believe I misspelled lumb in my instance name.

There’s only one mastodon instance, the human instance.

Trick question I only have one wife haha suckers. 😝

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The Lamp Institute

The Lamp Institute is an educational institution for those who have felt the drawn of its warm, soft light. The lamp is good. All hail the Lamp.

"I'm gay!"