Pinned toot

ah, the horrible dilemma of wanting to go out and see people but also never ever wanting to leave the apartment.

Ciara boosted

slip some toxic chemicals into his coffee, get him to mysteriously disappear never to be my default away message.

I've been playing Subnautica lately and I really like it.

has a very isolated feel, and the ecosystem development is real cool.

Also, you can train Stalkers to eat fish out of your hand, and then they bring you metal scraps.

They also sometimes yank the camera drones off your scanner rooms and play with them like they're beach balls. it's cute.

Ciara boosted

genital dysphoria Show more

Ciara boosted

dyever just feel like I get fewer old white guys at my phone down and then look back up and pull my phone down and bam, cleavage.
twas pretty great.

sometimes, usually if I'm unwell, and I've had a long poor sleep, I wake up and like to play a game of "is this sweat from my thighs being pushed together, or did I piss myself in my sleep?"

It's almost always the former.

I just called my cat a foosball instead of a fuzzball

he didn't seem to mind though.

couldn't figure where I'd left my phone and turns out my cat was sleeping on it.

How many skidoos?
23?!
Oh, yeah, we gotta skidattle!

MH meds Show more

white collar Show more

white collar Show more

white collar Show more

this episode is called Pilot but no one's even gotten on a plane yet, much less flown one. false advertising. :P

I'm gonna watch Matt bomer play a straight guy who uses crimes to take down rich people, or something.

"bird box" is a weird way to say "cock cage" but whatever

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The Lamp Institute

The Lamp Institute is an educational institution for those who have felt the drawn of its warm, soft light. The lamp is good. All hail the Lamp.

"I'm gay!"

-Lumb